A Mother's Love

It has happened. Nanny diaries warn that the number one rule in this job is to never fall in love with the children. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to rebel against that one because these kids are just too wonderful.
The other night I had just gotten off of work and I was leaving the twins downstairs. The curly headed one grabbed my neck and wouldn't let go. She screeched as I tried to set her on the floor. She made it clear- "Do not leave me!" It broke my heart to pass her off to her mother while she was wailing, crying, and reaching desperately for me.
Later I realized something. Nobody can ever replace a mom. I've been an au pair for almost two months now. While I'm trying to chase after two vivacious babies all day, I always think about my own mother. At one time she had a 10 year old, 8 year old, 6 year old, 4 year old, 2 year old, and newborn. It might seem like there couldn't possibly be enough attention paid to each kid. I am the fifth child out of seven, not first, middle, or last so I don't think there are any books on how to love a fifth child out of seven. I did have an adult friend though. God and my parents knew she was just what I needed. She would come and pick me up, take me to McDonald's, buy me clothes, and play with me at her house. All the while, she DOTED on how beautiful and special I was. I loved coming home with bags of candy and drive my siblings absolutely insane with jealousy. In those days it was a treat to eat a happy meal or buy a new toy that wasn't originally somebody else's, so my special treatment was a big deal.
The thing is though, back then I might have run from my mom's arms into "Mrs. Toothpick's" (yes, that is what I called her) but that doesn't mean that I ever stopped loving my mother. Sure, as a kid, I thought it was great to go to the park with Mrs. Toothpick and cried when she had to drop me off. I might have even preferred leaving home, where I was given Wheat Thins as a bedtime snack and put to bed at a reasonable hour, to sleep over where I got to have a huge bowl of icecream and watch TV until I fell asleep. However great it all was, it all comes down to which of these ladies I talk to weekly on the phone and attribute almost all my good childhood memories of love and affection to...my mom, of course.
Nobody can ever replace a mother. I've never been one, but I can imagine how hard it is to be the bearer of bad news- eat your vegetables!- and the enforcer of bedtime. It must be devastating to tell your child that no they can't play outside for five more minutes. To them, you are interuppting the fun. To you, they are being kept from danger, or sickness, or whatever other reason that is in their best interest.
For now I guess, I'm the lucky one because I get to be the toothpick in these kid's lives. However, someday when the little boy is off to college, he's going to call home just to say "I love and miss you, Mom" The beautiful girls will grow up someday and before their weddings, hold their mom extra tight and say "Thank you". I'm grateful to be their nanny, but I'm floored by how lucky their mom is and always will be.